Hello! I have returned to life after being hit with the worst cold that ran six days straight! In that time I probably watched more Tana Mongeau videos than anyone should ever admit so now I'm going to tell you what I learned. For those who don't know Tana, she is an 18 year old YouTuber based out of Las Vegas with over 2.5 million subscribers who has recently being accused for being racist for her use of the N word and lying about having a stalker. Look her up. 

I first watched Tana out of intrigue and then out of frustration and confusion because she doesn't doesn't give two fucks about what she says or does, on YouTube. She has a video with fellow YouTuber Shane Dawson (7.9 million subs!) where she pees, farts and gets period blood on him in addition to talking about all sorts of vile stuff for us all. In the follow up video, Tana spits a loogie into Shane's wide open mouth after crying about a Ouija board. Insert side eye emoji here.

So imagine me, sick in bed with a fever, snotty tissues, drooling off the side of my face sick, watching this stupid girl called Tana performing vulgar acts and saying vile things and thinking to myself, "shit, this kid has guts". I can't imagine being her age, or any age for that matter and having my parents, family and friends see me do such things on screen because wait, I am not vulgar or vile and I have something called integrity. On the other hand I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, I'm too closed off. I mean, for fucks sakes, I wear sunglasses in every post! 

Let's rewind for a sec. BTC (before the cold) I had a call with someone who runs a well known agency. You know what they said to me, "Had you not been recommended by the brand, I wouldn't have picked you for the campaign based on your Instagram." OUCH!! It's shitty to hear but man, did I need to hear it! Turns out my innocent little act of wearing sunnies in every posts is actually hurting my reputation! 

1. People don't know what I look like and therefore brands who I want to work with are reluctant to cast me.
2. My IG feed is "too perfect" therefore "lacking personality".

FUCK. SHIT. FUCK.

So Tana Mongeau, the lewd 18 year old YouTuber with her millions of subbies, taught me that being yourself is better than hiding behind a pair of designer sunglasses. Because now I'm at a point where brands (who pay my bills ultimately because I am a freelance blogger) know me as the chick with cool style (or at least I hope) but they don't know who I am therefore why cast me???? 

So who am I?

I'm a 36 year old hispanic chick who immigrated to Canada when I was six, I'm a wife to a Canadian man who is the kindest most patient person I know, I'm a cat mommy for two domestic black cats who where strays, I'm a former vegan, now vegetarian who wears leather because I gave up meat and fish in hopes of doing my part to save the planet, I'm an avid recycler who loves nature and hiking and would rather spend a holiday discovering Yosemite than going to New York, I'm a crafter and DIY-er and I love to cook, I'm a music lover - the Beatles, Soundgarden, Jimmy Eat World, Arianna Grande (yup!) The Weeknd, I love music so much I subscribe to SiriusRadio so I'm never without it and finally, I'm a person who has to be up at 5 am tomorrow to film a TV spot tomorrow so BOOYA, life works in mysterious ways so I'm thankful for Tana's weird antics (not the racism) and the person who told me I lacked personality online.  

I'm wearing: Givenchy boots and Pandora bag, Mackage leather skirt, Aritzia hoodie (for ages ago), Dior glasses, Kate-Cate star strap, Rachel's Box tights. 

* Special thanks to kate-cate.com for the awesome star strap and giving my Givenchy bag new life!